Love of my life, Acting
Heartbreak is a great time to figure yourself out. Even though you’re still overthinking the reasons why the person broke up with you, you have found that you have so much time to focus on yourself.
Recently, I watched a Ted Talk called “The Power of Break-Ups” by Onkar Kishan Khullar where he discussed how heartbreak can make you so utterly passionate that you are able to create your best work. It was truly the type of Ted Talk that I needed to watch.
I decided to put that mindset to use and have started to work on new projects. While my new play, “Lens” will not be ready for discussion until much later, I’d like to discuss the power my acting classes have had on me.
For the past month and a half, I have been blessed with the opportunity to attend classes with HB Studio and the Stella Adler School of Acting. These two acting schools are some of the most famous acting schools in the world. They helped build famous actors such as: Marlon Brando, Debbie Allen, Utkarsh Ambudkar, Matthew Broderick, Al Pacino, Robert De Niro, and SO MANY MORE. To be able to follow in their footsteps is a dream in itself. It still blows my mind that I’m able to train under some of the most knowledgeable, amazing, and supportive teachers in the world. These acting classes have not only made me a better actress but has helped me heal in ways that I could never imagined.
Acting is medicine.
When you turn into a character, it not only gives you the opportunity to see through the eyes of someone else, but you’re allowed to put a piece of yourself in it. On Wednesday nights, my new friend Monica and I take a piece of our soul and put it into an ever-changing scene that makes us uncomfortable in the best way possible and listen to the magnificent feedback from MB. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, I open up my heart to perform a monologue for JCD and truly learn what it means to be vulnerable. When Friday comes, I twiddle my thumbs and read acting books by the great Stella Adler and Stanislavsky awaiting my next acting class. It’s like a drug being able to perform for my peers. It made me realize that I could lose people, jobs, and Lord knows what else but, acting is something that will always be there for me… That’s incredible.
Through these acting classes I have also been able to be inspired by new people.
My friend Monica has been one of the most supportive friends I’ve had in quite some time. Despite the fact that she’s in a different state, we still find time to have our wine Zoom calls and discuss the drama in our daily lives. Being her scene partner, pushes me to consistently be in a scene even when it goes to a place that I’m afraid of. She’s an inspiration to me. Being able to watch a sea of young actors has helped me be able to focus my energy on becoming the best actress that I could be. I will say that there is a duo in class that consistently brings me an overwhelming sense of joy. Mark and Aiden are what happen when SNL has a lovechild with Friends. They’re absolutely hilarious but can pull out scenes that make me ugly cry. Watching their brains work in class, makes me constantly try to produce more productive comments about my fellow actors and makes me deeply analyze what I’ve done in past performances that I could improve on. Even though I haven’t met the two of them in person, they’re people I look forward to seeing every week. I feel like I formed a really strong bond with them.
When I was in college, something that I sorely lacked was a sense of positive feedback from my professors. Aside from my acting teacher, all my teachers at school had such a negative mindset. There were days where I would leave a voice lessons wondering if I had learned anything other than the fact that I “should not bother auditioning for the Mainstage Opera because it’s already pre-cast”. I think because I had such a traumatizing time in college, I am able to appreciate my acting teachers more.
MB and JCD are some of the most considerate, intelligent, and compassionate people I have ever met. Every session I’m in with them, the focus isn’t on whether or not I’m going to “make it” as a performer, which was a hot topic in many of my voice lessons at school, it is always strictly about the craft. By being in their classes, I’ve fallen deeper into loving acting as an art form. The technique, the ability to be vulnerable, the raw honesty that comes with being in a scene… I didn’t know that I could love something so much. Part of this love is because of the teacher. Your teachers need to be strict but also be your own personal hype man. You can’t be constantly going into lessons and be told all the things that you’re doing wrong. We as artists are so critical about ourselves that sometimes even the smallest bit of positive feedback will go a long way. MB and JCD not only have a focus that I aspire to gain but they tell you what you did right before they tell you what you need to fix. That little detail is so utterly important for the growth of a young artist. Honestly, I would be remiss if I didn’t talk about my college acting teacher who inspired me to go back into acting. PD is one of the greatest teachers I’ve ever had. His class was the highlight of my college experience. It is because of his class at school that I’m able to keep up with the classes at HB and Stella Adler. He truly prepared me for the actor’s life and I am eternally grateful to have had him as a mentor.
Now what?
Well, with the a global pandemic still surrounding us… This is the time to truly hone my skills and become the best actress that I can be. It’s so much more than feeling. There’s a lot of thought, effort, and written work that goes into being a truly amazing actress.
My entire life I put myself in this box in the corner and told myself I had to be small in order to please people, now I’m able to take up space and allow myself to make noise again.
*all names have been changed.
As a reminder, I would like everyone to know that Black Lives Matter is still going on. Even if your feed looks normal, it’s something that we should keep speaking about. Here is a list of some BIPOC actors that I truly adore. This is just a snippet of actors that you should be following.
Sydney Poitier
Jeffrey Wright
Angela Bassett
Viola Davis
Octavia Spencer
MJ Rodrigez
Laverne Cox
Michael B. Jordan
Donald Glover
Leslie Odom Jr.
As the world turns, I want to let everyone know that it’s never to late to start something that you are passionate about. I think the greatest mistake I’ve ever made in life was stopping my acting career to go to school. While school is important, I should have found a way to continue acting and focus on school at the same time. Now that I’m back in acting, I know for a fact that I’ll never leave it. I will love acting till the day I die. I deeply hope that you all return to something that you’re passionate about.
