How Krav Maga Saved My Life…

This week I completed 500 classes with Krav Maga Experts. Over the span of 4 years, I tried to dedicate at least one hour a week towards my Krav Maga training. This obviously doesn’t include the time I had to take off for summer programs and my ACL Recovery.

Despite going to the gym for so long, I can still vividly remember every event that led to my first class.

Back in 2015, I was in a pretty dark place in my life. I had gotten out of a toxic, co-dependent, emotionally abusive relationship. I gained 50lbs from being a freshman in college. I was overwhelmed by the piles of schoolwork I was drowning in. The tipping point was an uncomfortable experience I had with a male classmate that left me traumatized, hopeless but most importantly helpless. I was in a deep depression that not even music could take me out of. I spent days in my dorm room cowering under my blankets, not eating, and binge-watching the show “How I Met Your Mother” for the fourth time.

Then it happened!

The one episode that would change the course of my life forever: Season One, Episode Four- “Return of the Shirt”.
It’s an episode of HIMYM where Ted dates an old girlfriend. At the end of the episode, he learns the hard way that she does Krav Maga.

I was immediately interested at the idea of Krav Maga.
Krav Maga… contact combat… it was like an earworm.
My brain kept telling me “You should try Krav Maga”.

It was in my head for so long that I ended up caving. I did a Google search for Krav Maga gyms in New York City. Little did I know that there was a gym only a few blocks away from me. I signed up for their mailing list with little intention of actually going to a class because I was scared of trying something new. Moments later, a woman called me from the gym asking me if I wanted to take a trial class. I learned later that she was one of the teachers. To this day, I think that she is one of the most badass women that I have ever met. Knowing that there was a female teacher at the gym highly contributed to me going to my trial class. I was absolutely petrified but, despite being scared, I agreed to give it a try.

My first class was one of the most exhilarating times of my life. I can still smell the sweat seeping from the mat. To my surprise, there were more women in class than men. I stood at the end of a line next to a fiery red-head. She looked over at me promising me that by the end of class, whatever was on my mind will drift away. I stared at the large black lettering on the wall that read, “Train the way you fight, Fight the way you train,” as the teacher said “Kida, okay guys, start running around on the mat”. While I was struggling to catch my breath, the women of the class were so strong. They seemed so capable of doing anything. They were all Wonder Woman sparring with these Goliath-looking men. They ran laps like Olympians. They did push-ups like heavyweight champions. It occurred to me that I could be one of them.

The first defense I learned was how to get out of a bear hug. I was so worried that I would accidentally hit my partner in the crotch. Looking back on it now, I find that so adorable because these days I almost always accidentally kick my friends in the crotch when sparring… Getting out of a bear hug was fun but there was a moment when I realized that this was for me. The exercise was called “ground-and-pound”. You sat on top of a kick-shield punching the life out of it. I caught myself screaming, punching, and eventually sobbing. Every dark thought, every moment of self-doubt, and every pang of pain exited my body. I almost didn’t want to get off. For the first time that month, I smiled.

I smiled because I was finally reminded of what it was like to feel joy.

At the end of class, the teacher came up to me and told me that if I stuck with it, I had the potential to be a great fighter. I meditated on that comment… I could be great at something.

Without any hesitation, I joined the gym.

From that day forward, Krav became a second home for me. What once was a world of loneliness became a loving family that I desperately needed. On my worst days, I knew that the only place that I would be able to find solace was the gym.  When I had a shitty audition or needed to get out of my head, there was a heavy bag with my name on it. When a man cat-called me on the street, I was able to go to the gym and unleash my inner rage on a man twice his size.

To this day, I credit Krav Maga for turning me into the strong woman I am today. For so much of my early college life, I doubted myself. I doubted my strength. I doubted who I was. I shrunk myself to the point where I was worried to take up space and realize that I was enough. Before Krav Maga, I put myself in this plastic box watching the world pass me by. I thought I needed so much from the people around me. The reality of it all was that everything I needed was deep inside of me waiting to be opened. Krav Maga filled the empty feeling that kept me awake at night. It made me feel like a person whose life was worth something.

Now that I have reached the 500-class milestone, all I can think about is how much farther I have to go. I could always be more mindful, more open to new ideas, and more consistent. There’s still a world of untapped potential waiting for me to unravel. There will always be more burpees that needs to be done, a canoe that needs to be held longer, and a plank that desperately needs me to have good form. The only question I can ask myself whenever I walk into a class now is, “How can I make myself better today than I was yesterday”? At the end of the day, Krav saved my life because it taught me that I was a strong person. Most importantly, it showed me that the only limit was in my mind.